I give you this my friend in honor of your memory...It's been a long time...know that I didn't forget you...I still get lost... everyday still seems unreal...I still find sadness in everyday...but when I'm away for too long...you are still not forgotten...
I lost my child today
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try to take the pain away.
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month,
Most of the people went away,
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream,
"This can't be real!", I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God help me, I just want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year,
Now people who have been, have gone,
I sit and struggle all day long
To bear the pain so deep inside,
And now my friends just question "Why?
"Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good Heavens, it has been so long!"
I lost my child last year
Time has not moved on for me,
The numbness, it has disappeared.
My eyes have cried so many tears,
I see the look upon your face,
"You must move on and leave this place".
Yet I am trapped right here in time,
The song's the same, as is the rhyme.
I lost my child........... TODAY
How We Survive
If we are fortunate,
we are given a warning.
If not,
there is only the sudden horror,
the wrench of being torn apart;
of being reminded
that nothing is permanent,
not even the ones we love,
the ones our lives revolve around.
Life is a fragile affair.
We are all dancing
on the edge of a precipice,
a dizzying cliff so high
we can't see the bottom.
One by one,
we lose those we love most
into the dark ravine.
So we must cherish them
without reservation.
Now.
Today.
This minute.
We will lose them
or they will lose us
someday.
This is certain.
There is no time for bickering.
And their loss
will leave a great pit in our hearts;
a pit we struggle to avoid
during the day
and fall into at night.
Some,
unable to accept this loss,
unable to determine
the worth of life without them,
jump into that black pit
spiritually or physically,
hoping to find them there.
And some survive
the shock,
the denial,
the horror,
the bargaining,
the barren, empty aching,
the unanswered prayers,
the sleepless nights
when their breath is crushed
under the weight of silence
and all that it means.
Somehow, some survive all that and,
like a flower opening after a storm,
they slowly begin to remember
the one they lost
in a different way...
The laughter,
the irrepressible spirit,
the generous heart,
the way their smile made them feel,
the encouragement they gave
even as their own dreams were dying.
And in time, they fill the pit
with other memories
the only memories that really matter.
We will still cry.
We will always cry.
But with loving reflection
more than hopeless longing.
And that is how we survive.
That is how the story should end.
That is how they would want it to be.
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